The first time I remember giving money to a person on the street was in Philadelphia. There was regularly a guy sitting outside the Wawa next to my apartment building, but I regularly ignored him, which is essentially what I was trained to do when faced by people begging. Once you make eye contact, it's a lot harder to ignore them.
But there was one night on my way home from a friend's apartment that a lady approached me asking for $14 for her to get home to New Jersey. She had very detailed information on which trains she had to catch and so forth. I happened to have exactly $14 in cash and so I gave it to her. Was it a scam? I have no idea. Probably the unsafest part of it was opening my wallet at 9 or 10 p.m. on 42nd Street.
In Nicaragua, there are people begging everywhere. On the street, on the bus, catching drivers at red lights in traffic. On the road to the Honduran border there were kids filling in potholes and then asking for coins for doing so. Daniel and Darling (who I was traveling with) kept cordobas in their car (worth at the time $0.06) to hand out to just such kids. After we passed them, Daniel and Darling had me turn around to watch the kids undo their work so they could be "caught" filling the holes in again for the next car to go by. I most encountered such kids at the On the Run gas station, where I went one day a week for an Americanized lunch and air conditioning after teaching at Peniel and before catching the bus to Santa Maria. I started buying an extra snack or piece of fruit or something to hand to the kids on the way out. (Yes, I realize, way over-priced compared to the local market.)
When I started going through intersections in Durham that regularly have people on them, I tried to keep granola bars in the car. Unfortunately, folks don't always want food, and I'm reluctant to give money. While I feel guiltier doing it, it's easiest just to avoid eye contact.
One of my duties this month is meeting with and determining who receives financial assistance out of the folks who come to OUMC's door asking for help. At Unidos por Cristo, the guidelines were simple: yes if they're involved with the church, no if they're not. UPC is relatively poor in terms of the financial wealth of its members and limiting it to church people worked well as a place to draw the line. OUMC's policy is much more nuanced. Thankfully, the financial secretary is also involved in the decision and together we talk through each request. So far, in 17 days I've had to say no only twice. One was a young lady from the Oxford House (see http://www.oxfordhousenc.org/ for more), and policy is only one person from there a month and we'd already helped someone. The other was a very persistent lady to whom I'm afraid I bordered on rude in turning her down.
She came Sunday morning during worship to the church office and was asked to come back Monday morning. But she wouldn't leave and so eventually she was directed over to the sanctuary, since that's where the pastor was. After greeting the congregation at the door after the 11:00 service, I went and talked with her. The bottom line, that I finally figured out last night, is that she was seeking shelter. Instead, it was a very long conversation about her art and she left her request in writing on the back of one of her cards and I said I'd be in touch. She came back Monday morning to the office asking again, although I didn't see her that day. When I came in Tuesday morning she was sitting outside on the steps; the office staff didn't even know she was there since she didn't ring the bell or try to come in. I told her that we had talked about it (which we staff did on Monday) and decided that we couldn't help her. Folks looking for a place to stay we direct to the shelter. I was sorry she didn't want to go there. I was firm, and she left upset. I'm afraid she will hold our refusal to help against the Church. I pray she doesn't.
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