I have been the pastor-in-charge of Orange for 12 days now. Things are going well. There have been no crises. The worst part has been dealing with poison ivy for 10 of those days (and still counting). And, actually, the steroids the doctor put me on have probably helped keep things going well, because I have way more energy than usual. I bounce off the walls sometimes.
What these two weeks and the poison ivy have highlighted, however, is the vital importance of making boundaries and prioritizing in ministry. Really, that's all any type of ministry is about, whether church or mission work or anything else - figuring out balance. Now, I don't want anyone I visit to be offended or upset by this, I'm just sharing my thought process: What is the absolute latest time I can leave the hospital room and still be on time to the baby-sitter's? I have to allow for elevators and hospital hallways and parking garages and traffic. How do I balance being present for my church members and staying friends with my baby-sitter?
Last Friday morning I found out that a church member had been admitted to the hospital the previous night. I had to judge the severity of that and balance it with the fact that my car was so overdue for an oil change that the dipstick was dry and that I really had to see a doctor for my poison ivy. It turned out I was right, the church member was discharged early Friday afternoon. But what if it had been more serious? That day, I would've called back-up. My car wasn't up for the drive and I physically wasn't in good shape myself to care for another. (I know, as a mother of a ten month old, I'm always caring for another - and I had her with me that day, too - another factor: no childcare readily available. I take her on some visits, but her presence would be inappropriate on others.)
We Christians are taught to put others ahead of ourselves, and we should. But we in full-time ministry then carry that to care of others comes before care of self, and that's a problem. Jesus said love others as you love yourself. Love others and yourself equally. Care for others and care for yourself. You're no good if you're burned out. You're no good if you've run yourself (or your car) into the ground. Whether you call it prioritizing, setting boundaries, or a balancing act, it's gotta happen. What do you do? How do you figure out what comes first? Probably depends on the day, on the church member, on the severity of your own needs. If you keep your car maintained, if you plan ahead some, if you keep out of poison ivy, and you know when and who to call for back-up, you'll probably do ok. Other days it snowballs, but then you gotta know what's allowed to give. Probably not your health or your marriage or your family. I'm reminded of "The Lesson of the 5 Balls" I read in Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson:
"Life is juggling five balls: family, friends, health, integrity, and work. The work ball is made out of rubber; if you drop it, it will bounce. But the other balls, family, friends, health, and integrity, are made out of glass. If you drop one of them, it will be irrevocably scuffed and might even shatter."
I suspect the problem for many in ministry is that the work ball feels like it's also made out of glass. We're talking about people's souls! We don't want to be stumbling blocks for others in their faith journeys. (Ideally, we'd like to be water slides!) If we drop the work ball, it could scuff. Ministry feels like glass, and not rubber. The good news, however, is that we are not responsible for saving souls. Jesus is. The Good News is that the Messiah has already come, the Savior of the world has already come, and I am not him. God will make sure that God's Church continues. I have to make sure that I take care of myself so that I can carry out the work I was called to do and love all the people I have been given to love.
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