Thursday, September 5, 2019

"Okay!": A Reflection

We use "ok" to mean so many different things in so many different settings.

"Ok" means yes.
"Ok" means average.
"Ok" means we understand.

It's a typical answer to the question "How are you?", although for me it means I'm not doing great. If I'm truly ok and all right, then I say "good." If I'm not good, I say "ok" or "hanging in." I don't know that many people pick up on that nuance between "good" and "ok," and I'm all right with that. To me, it means I'm still giving an honest answer while not giving an answer that's going to elicit more conversation. With most people and at most times, I don't really want to get into how I'm doing. It tends to be a courtesy question and so I give a courtesy answer. Except I don't want to lie. So I have to give an honest courtesy answer which will be accepted at face value and each of us can move on. 'Cuz most people don't really want to know how you're really doing. They're just asking to be polite or as a greeting.

But I never mind when someone gives me an honest answer. And then I'll ask "What's going on?" And they'll either say they don't want to talk about it, which is perfectly acceptable, and I'll drop it and we'll move on. Or, they'll share more about what's really going on with them, which is perfectly acceptable, too.

But somehow when I give a more honest answer and the person follows up, when I don't want to go into it, they'll rarely let me drop it and move on.

That's why I say "ok." It may mean literally "I'm ok," or it may mean "I'm not good and I don't want to talk about it."

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