15th Sunday after Pentecost
September 17, 2017
Exodus 14:19-31; Romans 13:8-14; Matthew 18:15-20
In
1980 an action comedy movie came out called The
Blues Brothers. It begins with the release of the older brother, Jake, from
prison and he and his brother, Elwood, go on “a mission from Gahd” which requires them to put their
band back together. While Jake was in prison, the other band members all moved
on and took other jobs. Jake and Elwood have to go to each band member individually
and talk with them and convince them to come back for one last show. One member takes a little more convincing,
but, eventually, he agrees. A band is much like a family, or any other group of
people. They come together for a common purpose, and yet each bring their own
personality, their own preferences, their short or long tempers, and they have
to figure out how to work together.
Jesus
says, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am, also,”[1]
and it’s a good thing because where two or three are gathered, there are also
two or three personalities that are eventually going to disagree over
something. Although, if we’re honest, we can have conflict just with ourselves,
individually! Anyone ever said, “I’m conflicted,” or “I’m torn”? The thing is,
conflict is normal and even healthy because it keeps us from growing stagnant.[2] Either we change and adapt and grow, or we
die. So, rather than seeking the absence
of conflict, what works better is to seek the presence of a just peace. Conflict resolution doesn’t actually work all
that well because then you expect a definite end to the conflict and a winner
and loser. Instead, working towards
transforming the conflict means that we’re committed to staying in relationship
no matter what, like a married couple for whom divorce is not an option.
One of the things we read in Romans last week was Paul’s
advice “to live in harmony with another.”[3]
A harmony is not all one note. A harmony is made up of multiple notes that
sound well together. If you look at our choir, they don’t all sing the same
note. Each section has a part to sing: bass, tenor, alto, and soprano. Not everyone sings the soprano part, and the
sopranos don’t sing so loud so as to drown out the other parts. We need all the parts to form the choir. And because the parts are different, there is
occasionally going to be conflict. We’re
not all always going to get along. But
if all the choir members are committed to the choir and committed to making
beautiful music that honors God, then each one puts in the hard work of
learning their part and knowing when to sing, what to sing, and how loud or
soft to sing. That’s what it means to be
in harmony.
Jesus’ advice this morning is what to do when someone is
disharmonious, when someone is breaking up the harmony, intentionally breaking
up the band, when someone has sinned against you. This isn’t just normal
conflict or differences of opinion or being a little flat as you learn your
part. And Jesus says, first, go and talk to the person, one on one. And if that
doesn’t work then try bringing one or two others in as witnesses or mediators.
And remember the goal isn’t to embarrass or belittle or criticize, but the goal
is restoration. There’s a break in the relationship and the goal is healing. The
story in Matthew immediately before this one is the one about the farmer with
100 sheep and one goes missing. You may think that 99 sheep are still enough
sheep, what’s one more? But the shepherd leaves the 99 to go find the missing
sheep, because without her, the flock isn’t all together.
Now the end of Jesus’ advice seems a little harsh: if the
person still doesn’t listen, then treat them as a Gentile or a tax collector.
Now, there are some folks we are not going to get along with. There are some
folks we’re going to have a hard time being in harmony with. And we’re not
called to like everyone or to agree with everyone. Jesus says we are to love one another. Loving one another
does not mean being buddy-buddy or seeing eye to eye on everything. And there
are some folks whom we have to love from a distance in order to stay mentally
and emotionally healthy. I have two dear friends whose first marriages ended
because their spouses no longer wanted to make them work. There are some folks
you dust the sand off your feet and move on in order to keep your sanity.
We’re at the point in Exodus where Moses and the
Israelites are finally leaving Egypt. Their time in slavery is at an end. Thanks
to the 10th plague, Pharaoh finally agrees to Moses’ request to “let
my people go” and the Israelites are finally beginning their journey out of
Egypt. Pharaoh goes back on his word and chases after them. God’s people find
themselves between the Egyptian army behind them and the Red Sea in front of
them. And God makes a way where there seems to be no way, having Moses stretch
out his hand and parting the Red Sea so that the Israelites can cross thru on
dry land. The Egyptian army gives chase behind them, and drowns as the waters
come back together. This is the end of the conflict between Egypt and Israel,
at least then. Israel, through Moses, kept trying to work things out. Egypt
refused and refused and refused. It got to the point where they dusted the sand
off their feet and moved on.
Yet
think about this, if Jesus says we’re to treat a person who won’t listen as a
Gentile or a tax collector… Jesus
regularly interacted with Gentiles and tax collectors. Matthew, the guy
who’s gospel we’re reading, was a tax collector and one of the twelve disciples.
Zaccheus, the wee little man who climbed a tree was a tax collector. Then
there’s the Samaritan woman at the well, the Canaanite woman we read about a
few weeks ago, the fact that Jesus makes a Samaritan the good guy in the story
of the Good Samaritan. Jesus never stops reaching out. He doesn’t write off
anyone. Dust the sand off his feet, yes. Occasionally lose his temper with the
Pharisees or with the moneychangers who set up shop inside the temple, yes. What’s
holy should stay holy. God should be honored. And God sent his only begotten
son because God “so loved the whole world.”
So, even with those we disagree, even with those who rub us the wrong way, even
with those who have hurt us, we are to err on the side of grace. We are to
never stop reaching out. Like God, we always yearn to restore what was broken.
I was talking with a colleague this past week and she
reminded me that church is one of the last places in society where we regularly
gather with people with different opinions. Church isn’t a club where all the
members have a lot in common. Church is a family, where we all have one common
denominator, that we’re all God’s children, we’re brothers and sisters. That’s
why it hurts when there’s a rift, because each of us is incomplete without each
other. The suffering of one person is the suffering of everyone. The joy of one
person is the joy of everyone.[4]
That’s why we share joys and concerns. It’s not gossip time. It’s so that we
can be happy with you when you have good news and we can sit and mourn with you
when you have bad news. We’re all in this together. We’re here for one another.
That’s what a family is.
The goal isn’t resolution, with a winner and a loser. The
goal isn’t everyone always agree on everything all of the time. That’s not
realistic. The Church is a place of mutual interdependence, so the goal is
transformation. Together we are stronger and better and more faithful and more
effective in our witness than we are apart. You can’t be a Christian by
yourself. You need the body of Christ, warts and all. Scars and all. You see,
even after restoration, even after transformation, there are scars. There are
marks. You may not be able to see them, but things will not be exactly the same
as before. You are different; the other person is different. Think of Jesus
going through the crucifixion and resurrection. Even after he was alive again,
he had the marks on his hands and his feet. He had a hole in his side. Things
are changed, things are transformed. If God’s in the middle of it, then it’ll
be better than it was before, yet still different.
So, conflict is normal. It’s part of life. It doesn’t
have to be avoided.
Conflict is natural because
of the diversity of creation and because all of us who are created different
try to live together and be in relationship with each other.[5] Conflict is also necessary to overcome
injustice, oppression, and evil. There
is nothing wrong with conflict in and of itself. What’s key is our attitude toward
conflict. If we think it’s bad and
should be avoided at all costs, then we’re not going to deal with it well. But if we embrace it as a God-ordained
consequence of diversity, then we learn more about God and how he made us. We
learn more about ourselves. Jesus says the greatest commandment is to “Love the
Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
mind… And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law
and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”[6]
Paul essentially restates that in his letter to the Romans that we read, “The
commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You
shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” [want wasn’t isn’t yours] and whatever
other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your
neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the
fulfillment of the law.”
Love
does no harm to a neighbor, whether it’s a neighbor we like or don’t like,
whether it’s one we agree with on a lot of issues or not, whether we have
similar interests or not. Love does no harm. “Love is patient… [and] kind. It
does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”[7]
It’s always trying to put the band back together, knowing that the new music
will not be the same as the old. Voices change. Skills change. Music changes.
Thanks be to God for keeping the song going, and for the opportunity to always
be able to join back in, because this is the love that will not ever let us or
our loved ones go. Amen.
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