A Church Home

My mom is thinking of leaving St. Francis, and it makes me sad.  As  pastor I counsel folks that the most important thing is that they're worshiping somewhere, it doesn't have to be the church I serve or my preferred place to worship.  What matters most is that somewhere you are connecting with the body of Christ.

But this is St. Francis.  This is the church I chose to join at age 19 when I first picked a church on my own and became United Methodist, leaving the Episcopal tradition in which I was raised. This is St. Francis, where my mom and stepdad were married, where my husband and I were married, where my son was baptized.  This is St. Francis, who very generously supported me serving in Nicaragua.  This is St. Francis, where I've taught Sunday school and gone on mission trips and spent many nights as the overnight hostess with WIHN (Wake Interfaith Hospitality Network). This is St. Francis, who affirmed my, and many others', call to ordained ministry.

This is St. Francis, who in moving forward, is leaving my mom behind.  They set up a new communications platform, which requires my mom to make a significant-to-her change in lifestyle that she's not sure she wants to make.  This is St. Francis, where my mom was once very active in missions and once very connected to her Sunday school class, who now feels that the real lasting friends she has made is with the ladies she prays with in Prayer Works.  My mom has spent countless hours downstairs in the chapel praying for this church. 

This is St. Francis, who she says is doing everything right and doing everything right to reach their target demographic.  But their target demographic is not her.

She is a baby boomer, mostly empty nester, who no longer lives in the same town as the church.  Her husband is deployed with FEMA ten months out of the year, but his absence has not been greatly noticed by the church.  She does not have a young family, never has at this church.  She does not share many of the same values as this town, or at least the ones for which the town is known.  She has been a faithful member for 18 years, but no longer feels connected to this church.  She says the pastors are great and the church is growing, but she feels like she is losing her place there.  It's not that it's headed a different direction or a wrong direction, but she's feeling excluded.  Not unwelcome, but unnoticed.  Again, the church is doing everything right to reach out to its community.  But my mom is no longer part of the community.