Long-Winded? Who? Me?

I remember in 6th grade when I joined my church's youth group. One of the youth leaders commented that if the whole youth group were made up of Heather Willet's (my maiden name), it would be very quiet because no one would ever speak.

One year in college, some girls on my floor got together and wrote poems about everyone on the floor, likening them to an animal. My animal was mouse and the first line says, "Shy, quiet."

Now, I am less shy than I used to be. I used to be painfully shy; I remember crying once in 4th grade because I was so shy. By no means am I an extrovert, I haven't come out of my shell that much, but I am more out-going than I was as a kid. (We moved after 8th grade and I remember going back to the church we went to when I was in middle school and people commenting on how much more talkative I was - it was because I knew them! They weren't strangers!)

However, I've only become a "chatty Cathy" around my husband. It seems best, at least for now, to tell him everything that goes through my brain rather than risk filtering out something I should tell him. And he doesn't seem to mind occasionally hearing TMI because it means I'm not skipping something that may be important to tell him.

So, pastoring a church, folks have had a hard time figuring out if I'm just reserved or downright unapproachable, because I'm still pretty quiet. I prefer silence to the risk of saying the wrong thing. Plus, sometimes just sitting with someone speaks louder than words. I don't use five words when two will do. And I occasionally had trouble writing academic papers because I don't like repeating myself, so I was tired of saying the same thing by the time I got to the conclusion. Same goes for sermons. When I started, I wrote out manuscripts which were usually six pages (14 point font, Times New Roman, 1.5 spaced, 1" margins) and took 10-12 minutes to preach. I'd repeat once or twice the key idea or verse. Now, with no manuscript and just an outline, apparently I've become wordier. My husband timed me on Sunday and it was a full 30 minutes!!! Granted, I'm not convinced my sermons are better. Length does not a good sermon make. My sermons don't always feel very organized, either, especially when I don't refer to my outline. I know I repeat myself a lot. Yet, my preaching does now better fit the Hispanic culture in which I serve for one more month, where half-hour sermons are normal and expected. Either I'm becoming all things to all people, as Paul writes, or else I've just decided it's okay to be wordy when it comes to preaching the Gospel!