Pregnancy Pictures

This post should have been written in August.  I think most if not everyone who reads this blog knows that I was pregnant and now have a 4 week old.  This is my reflection on my struggle to understand why folks wanted to see pictures of me pregnant, because it took me almost the whole 9 months to understand why.  It started around the 4th month, when a church member who does photography offered to do a pregnancy shoot.  My response was "thanks, but no thanks, I don't want to remember my body like this."  The church member laughed.  Pregnancy, for me, anyway, was weird.  My body was doing things I didn't understand.  Most of my shoes didn't fit.  I had to stop wearing my wedding ring (which still will not go back on).  I started wearing maternity clothes early not because I had to but because their loose style was so much more comfortable.  Being pregnant was weird and my body felt abnormal.  Although, as I type that word, I realize that what it was doing was very normal for a woman's body.  My body knew what it was doing, even though I didn't.

But that church member was not the only one who wanted pictures of me pregnant.  Others wanted to see pregnancy pictures and for a long time the only one that existed was one of my hand as I blocked my husband's camera's view of me.  Why take a picture of my body being so weird?  Why do folks want to see me pregnant?  Wouldn't they rather wait to see the baby? 

My other reason for resisting is that I have friends who cannot get pregnant, have trouble getting pregnant, or are not even in a position to consider getting pregnant, but wish they were.  I did not and do not want to flaunt my pregnancy and baby. 

However, in August, I began to understand the desire for pregnancy pictures.  One Sunday at the contemporary service when I gave the announcements, I also introduced myself as the associate pastor and added that yes, I was pregnant.  In August, we get a fair number of new visitors because of the school year starting, plus church members returning from summer vacations, and I wanted to dispel the potentially distracting question of "is she overweight or is she pregnant?"  The church responded to my introduction by applauding.  I was not expecting that.  And as August went on, I began to realize that it wasn't that folks took delight in my gaining 30 pounds or the weird things my body was doing.  Instead, folks took delight in the new life that was underway.  Folks were excited for my husband and me and for the coming baby.  I learned with my arthritis that dressing nicer can often help you feel better, and so here is a picture of me at 37 weeks and feeling as beautiful as I ever felt while pregnant. I think the pearls helped :)